Clever Lad

Little 10-year-old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle, a wealthy Hampshire farm owner.

One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Freddie who shouts out, ‘Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is fucking the cow!’ Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young Freddie aside, and explains that a certain amount of decorum is required. ‘You should have said, “The bull is surprising the cow” – not some filth picked up in the playground,’ he says. A few days later, Freddie comes in again as his aunt and uncle are entertaining. ‘Uncle John! The bull is surprising the cows!’ The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, ‘Thank you, Freddie, but surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot “surprise” more than one cow at a time, you know …’ ‘Yes, he can!’ replies his obstinate nephew. ‘He’s fucking the horse!’