Hindi Marinig

Nangumpisal si Kulas sa mga kasalanang nagawa niya:

Father: anak, ndi ka papatawarin.

Kulas: ha! bakit Father?

Father: kase may kasalanan ka pa na hindi mo binabanggit

Kulas: ano po yun Father?

Father: ikaw ba kumuha ng perang donasyon sa altar?

Kulas: ano po yun Father?

Father: ikaw ba kumuha ng perang donasyon sa altar?!

Kulas: di ko po talaga marinig Father, gusto mo palit tayo ng pwesto?

(nagpalit sila ng pwesto)

Father: sige magtanong ka

Kulas: ikaw ba nakabuntis kay Anna na labandera?!

Father: ay totoo nga ndi nga marinig dito!

malambot ang dila

lalake: "mes powede makepagkelala? anong pangalan mo?"

girl: "loreena"

lalake: "mes, malambot kase dela ko, can i call you lorena?"

girl: "Pwidi"

If i'd die early

If I'd die early, I would ask God if I could be your guardian angel, so I could wrap my wings around you and embraces you whenever you feel alone...

If you are asking...

IF you are asking if i would hurt you,
the answer is NEVER

IF you are asking if i love you,
the answer is FOREVER

IF you are asking if i want you,
the answer is I DO

IF you are asking what i value most,
the answer is YOU

Clemency

"CLEMENCY"

Want to know about clemency?

What is CLEMENCY?

CLEMENCY is

actually...




... the maasim that
you put on the pensit...



thanks to: Len (GF ni Jhay)natawa ako dito promise! :P

Tabingi

Namatay ang asawang lalaki ng isang babae...

Nang dumating na ang oras upang ihatid sa huling hantungan ang bangkay,

Lalaki: Pare ibaba nyo na ang ang kabaong...
Asawang Babae: Tabingi!!! Huhuhu
Lalaki: Pare! taas nyo ulit!

(maya maya pa..)
Lalaki: pare ayos na, ibaba nyo na ulit.
Asawang Babae: Tabingi!!! Huhuhu
Lalaki: Pare taas ulit! (kamot sa ulo)

Nagtataka na ang lalaki, kaya't minabuti na nyang magtanong sa Asawang namatayan...
Lalaki: Misis, kanina ko pa napapansin panay ang sabi nyo ng tabingi.
Asawang Babae: Kanina pa din ako nagtataka sa inyo eh. Bakit hindi nyo maibaba ang asawa ko tuwing isisigaw ko ang pangalan nya na Tabingi.
Lalaki: nyahay! akala ko kasi tabingi ang kabaong, yun pala pangalan.

Nervous Bride

The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so he asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid that she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.

First the aisle, because that is what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the altar because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember the hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.

While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words

...Aisle, altar, hymn (I'll alter him)

I Made My Husband a Millionaire

A woman was telling her friend,
"It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

My Mind

Great minds contain ideas, solutions and reasons; scientific minds contain formulas, theories and figures; my mind contains only you!

Reasons to Wake Up

There are two reasons why I wake up in the morning: my alarm clock and you.

Galing sa Libing

Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're?

Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.

Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo?

Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban!